Thursday, May 7, 2015

Things That Inevitably Happen When I Date My Best Friend

1. Introducing him to my friends was never an okay-will-they-like-him-or-not nervousness since, well, we've been sharing almost the same circle of friends the whole time. His friends are mostly mine, too, and vice versa.

2. No time wasted for digging up his pasts. Like, who his exes and crushes were, including their ups-and-downs and even the nasty breakups they'd been through. Cause he practically had shared every story with me when we were still just best friends. (Moments of 'Here she comes, the kleptomaniac beauty in disguise' or 'Nah, she was the one he dated only by accident' or 'Oops, there she goes, the drama queen who kissed like a frog' when having encounter with one of his exes did happen.)

3. I also didn't waste much time to explain my previous doomed relationships to him, which means no energy wasted to explain what personalities and values I look up to and I ditch in a man. Cause he just knows my stories.

4. Figuring out what he likes and dislikes of almost everything was never a deep-dive analytic research I should spend much time on. No time wasted to figure out what music he listens to ('No, he doesn't listen to Maroon 5. He hates Adam Levine as if he once stole his girlfriend'), which fashion style he's into ('He thinks ripped shorts are too teenager-ish to be worn by women in mid 20's'), or what movie genre he's up for ('He enjoys drama more than I do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯'). Years of befriending him has revealed it all.

5. Jealousy very rarely interferes. I know where he goes, whom he goes out with, what he will do (basically just beers over football, liquors only show up for certain celebrations), and even how he will react if someone hits on him (mostly gays ¯\_(ツ)_/¯). There's nothing suspicious and I just happen to trust him.

6. Since trust has already taken place, high intensity of texting and phonecalls are not mandatory on daily basis. The urge to always have to know what he's up to in each minute of his life has never appeared since we just let each other roll. Texting mostly only happens during lunch and before bed time, and phone calls are not so much (mostly only 2-3 times on weekly basis, several minutes at the max, unless something very interesting to talk about comes up). Cause we both know we are busy and are always up for something else to do during day time and we just gotta let it that way. Or in other words, cause both of us are just so ~cool~ about it.

7. Anxiety before meeting his family was not really there since, at some point in my life, I have met them once or twice before. Which means no time wasted to adjust to new faces, habits and communication style.

8. Of course there were and will be times when we're both trapped in an argument or when things get way out of hands that all I can think of is how easier days were when we were still just best friends. No drama, no argument. But then again, thanks to years of befriending him that has taught me well on how to cope with each other's ego and stubbornness, any argument are settled almost in an instant.

9. Reference of both me and him as an item by our friends finally pop up. It was kinda weird at first, but I enjoy it over time. (Expect sayings like 'It's $25 including tax for both of you' or 'Hey, this. He left his phone charger at my place' or 'Hey, tell him I can't show up tonight. Also tell him I say congrats, though')

10. I don't try hard to impress him by always being 100% perfect. He knows exactly since the beginning about what I'm good at and what I'm not, he criticizes me for what I can do more and calm me down when I realize I set my expectation too high, he knows I have a sensitive skin that cannot be covered with makeup all day ('Haha, you have blackheads!'), he knows I have cellulite in some body parts ('If we can make $1,000 for every cellulite line you have, we'll be filthy rich, baby!'). He knows my sparkles and flaws since Day 1, and he chooses to stick around anyway.

11. Speaking of try-hards, our relationship basically reflects simplicity. No need for fancy dinner every weekend, no need for far getaway every month, or a bouquet of roses every monthversary. We just appreciate the little things more. Simple homemade breakfast on weekend? Sounds great. Grocery shopping on Saturday night? I'm in. And then when we finally celebrate the real occasions (e.g. birthdays, anniversaries), it feels more pleasant, delightful, and sincere.

12. But no matter what, since Day 1, he is the one who knows what my pillow face looks like and what my habit before bed is (since at one point during our time in university we got to be living under the same roof together with other 14 students for 4 weeks for our university's program), what turns me off the most and what lame jokes I'm into. Or in other words, making each other laugh and keeping one away from disappointment is a low-hanging fruit for both of us. And we like it that way.