I've Got No Time For Feeling Sorry

"We still live in the same town, well don't we?
But I don't see you around anymore
I go to all the same places, not even a trace of you
Your days are numbered at 24

And I'm getting bored waiting 'round for you
We're not getting any younger
And I won't look back cause there's no use
It's time to move forward

I feel no sympathy, you live inside a cave
You barely get by, the rest of us are trying
There's no need to apologize
I've got no time for feeling sorry

I try not to think of what might happen
When your reality, it finally cuts through
Well as for me I got out and I'm on the road
The worst part is that this could be you

And you know it too
You can't run from your shame
You're not getting any younger
And time keeps passing by
But you wave it away
It's time to roll over

And all the best lies
They are told with fingers tied
So cross them tight, won't you promise me tonight
If it's the last thing you do you'll get out

I feel no sympathy, you live inside a cave
You barely get by, the rest of us are trying
There's no need to apologize
I've got no time for feeling sorry.."

(Feeling Sorry - Paramore)

i never get the point of revenge and i never put any vengeance in everyone. i swear its true. the thing is i just never forget about whatever people do to me, whether its good or bad. and this one; its for you who wasted me away twice and now you're in vain. the whole damn world knows you are gone have moved on but they'll just never forget your past ... just like i do. may you sleep well in every night of yours cause we all know you're having your karma.
(note that i'm not cursing, complaining or whatsoever in this post. i'm only writing.)

Romance and Relationship

single (not comparable)

Positive single

Comparative not comparable

Superlative none (absolute)

1. Not accompanied by anything else.

   Can you give me a single reason not to leave right now?

2. Not divided in parts.

   The potatoes left the spoon and landed in a single big lump on the plate.

3. Designed for the use of only one.

   a single room

4. Designed for a single use; not reusable.

   the anti-aircraft rocket is fired from a single use launch platform.

5. Not married nor dating

   Josh put down that he was a single male on the dating website.

6. (botany) Having only one rank or row of petals.

so, i'm back in this blogging thingy after leaving it meaningless for, like, ever ever after. well, not that long, though. okay, only a few months. but since i'm kinda addicted to writing, its like for ever for me. skip it.
so, what makes me post this 'single' word meaning? nothing, just kinda describe what i've been for almost 2 months. (yeah, i broke up. again. dont worry, i dont do suicide nor drinking pesticide. only guiltiness surrounded for few weeks.) hell to the yeah, i am single. for now. but in my lifetime (so far), i never find it wrong in being one. well, whats so wrong, eh? but these days i'm kinda thinking about what makes my relationship never lasted long, while the people here, around me, have been with their partners since, like, the invention of electricity. one of my college friends had been with her BF for 4 years (bottom line, FOUR YEARS), but still ended up with a breaking-up. but i mean, hey, its four years! so they'd been together since i was still in Junior High. cool, isn't it? while the longest relationship i've ever had is only 6 months. bottom line, six months. and the last relationship only lasted for 3 months. bottom line, three months. kinda sucks knowing i kinda suck in relationships.. *sighs* anyway, does anybody mind if i post about romance or relationship this time?
until one day, i told my auntie i had a fling on this guy. we've been texting for, like, some weeks. i told her he seemed nice, kind and those sort of things, but then she said, "kamu itu ga ada arah kalo nyari cowo." only one sentence consisted of some words but it made me get some kind of shock. to be honest. it got me thinking. and i was like, "damn, she's right." i never had any intention to anyone this long and i think thats the main reason why my relationships never lasted long. what to be called this? pathetic? silly? yeah, i'd said "i'm only 18, after all." but intention in relationship doesn't always mean marriage, right? (beside there are hella lots of types of relationships) it could be how long you expect you're gonna be with your partner, how committed you're both gonna be, or how important your partner means to you (either he/she be the top on your life priority or he/she be the top on your future wishlist). it means a lot. holy cow, how could i just realize it now? long after i'd been in some relationships?
the conclusion, after all, is i think i'm gonna fix this. either its with this guy or not, i'm gonna try to find the 'intention' to my so-on relationship. what about if i dont find one? oh puh-lease Jess, you'll never know til you have tried. (copied from the wisdom words in the bottom line of that X brand notebook)

What The ...

PENGUMUMAN HASIL SNMPTN 2009

Peserta Diterima

No.Peserta : 2092706536
Nama Peserta : JESSICA CASSANDRA
Kode Prodi : 362042

"what the..." to be honest, itu reaksi pertama saya waktu pertama kali liat Pengumuman Hasil SNMPTN 2009 di website snmptn.ac.id. i was wondering "how could?" karena jujur, saya sendiri ikut SNMPTN cuma melalui jalur "yang-penting-ikut". yeah, thats for sure! dan yang lebih gilanya lagi, saya dengan PeDe dan nekat nya ambil UI di pilihan pertama dan Unpad di pilihan kedua. (well, cukup gila bagi teman-teman saya yang sebagian besar milih Unila sebagai pilihan kedua yang menurut mereka udah pasti bisa jadi "pegangan") saya sih ga pernah setitik pun naro harapan di SNMPTN kemaren. i mean; masuk sukur, ga masuk ya udah. makanya saya kaget begitu liat ternyata i made it for Unpad (FYI, 362042 adalah kode prodi buat jurusan Ekonomi Manajemen Universitas Padjadjaran). what a coincidence..
hmm.. saya rasa kemaren merupakan one of my luckiest days lagi deh. kenapa? karena saya mendapat 2 kabar baik beruntun. pertama, saya lulus SNMPTN (walopun bukan di UI. yah, cukup beruntung kan bagi saya yang ga melakukan persiapan apapun malem sebelumnya?). dan kedua, saya mendapat kabar kalo band saya (ehem!) Remember To December lolos ke babak final suatu festival musik yang diadain salah satu stasiun TV lokal Lampung. yah emang kurang tepat kalo dibilang hoki sih buat yang satu itu, soalnya lolos atau nggak nya sebuah band di ajang ini ditentuin oleh 25% penilaian juri dan 75% polling SMS and we were like sending tons of polls in the last 2 days. hmm.. tapi bisa juga sih dibilang ada unsur lucky nya sedikit, karena sejujurnya suara saya kurang bagus tapi saya malah dapet pujian dari komentator. (woohooo! clap clap clap! *standing ovation*)
jadi, untuk setahun ke depan (hopefully) saya akan berkuliah di Bandung. kenapa hopefully hanya setahun ke depan? karena saya tetep berkeras (kepala) pada target utama saya yaitu melanjutkan studi ke negeri singa walopun baru bisa masuk tahun depan. (FYI, tahun ini saya terlambat mempersiapkan semua supporting documents yang masih teronggok manis di beberapa sudut kamar). yeah JC, you surely can do it! GO JC GO JC GO! (*cheerleaders cheering*)

Dear (your name here)

flashback (plural: flashbacks)

1. a dramatic device in which an earlier event is inserted into the normal chronological flow of a narrative
2. (psychology) a vivid mental image of a past trauma, especially one that recurs
3. a similar recurrence of the effects of a hallucinogenic drug
   

saya baru aja search arti kata flashback secara harafiah, dan ini yang muncul waktu saya coba search di Wiktionary. (okay, yang terakhir agak berlebihan, dan kata trauma sepertinya bukan arti yang saya inginkan untuk muncul..) well, kenapa saya bahas flashback? apa karena saya baru mendengar kata itu dan ga tau artinya sampe saya bela-belain nyari artinya di interntet? tentu bukan! saya udah denger kata ini berkali-kali, jauh sebelum saya memutuskan untuk nyari artinya, which means hari ini. saya bahas flashback adalah karena saya baru aja nyadar kalo beberapa hari terakhir ini saya terlalu sering flashback.. yeah, i know thats never been good! at least for me..
jadi, apa yang menyebabkan saya sering flashback akhir-akhir ini? hmm.. to be honest, i dont even know exactly why! mungkin karena akhir-akhir ini saya ga banyak berkegiatan, ditambah dengan pikiran "high school is over, high school is over", ditambah lagi dengan ketakutan berlebihan soal seberapa jauh saya dan teman-teman bakal terpisah, whoa! i hate those thoughts!
and for making it worse, tiba-tiba saya inget sama (ehem!) mantan saya. bukan "inget", tapi inget dalam arti sebenernya. saya tiba-tiba inget sama larangan dia untuk sekolah jauh. saya tiba-tiba inget sama semua lagu yang pernah dia kasih ke saya (dari yang paling aneh sampe yang paling meaningful buat saya pada waktu itu). saya tiba-tiba inget sama betapa sabarnya saya ngadepin dia pada waktu itu. saya tiba-tiba inget sama momen-momen kami ketawa bareng di mobilnya yang lama. saya tiba-tiba inget betapa seringnya kami pergi muter-muter keliling kota sambil nyanyi-nyanyi ga jelas di mobilnya. saya tiba-tiba inget sama semua kejujuran yang pernah dia akuin ke saya, yang setelah saya pikir-pikir sekarang "why didnt i kill him? that was brutally honest!" (well, dia terlalu jujur untuk cerita soal pengalaman tahun baru 2008 nya di Jakarta. or maybe he was out of control for telling that?) saya tiba-tiba inget sama nickname dia untuk saya yang sekarang jadi sering saya gunakan lagi. and i totally remembered when he switched the radio off and said "listening to our voices is much better." hmm.. saya pikir ini semua mungkin karena saya terlalu tenggelam dalam pikiran tentang semua yang bakal saya tinggalin disini kalo saya beneran kuliah disana. yes, all of the things. the people, the friends, the environment and those sort of things.. well, saya bisa jadi sangat melankolis dan emosional waktu flu. *clears throat*
i think i'd much better stop writing about this now. there's no doubt that i could cry if i keep writing this down.. ahh melancholy!

Practice Makes Perfect

"So sweet I can hardly speak due to such trauma in my teeth
But your body language is telling me that you're worth the pain
So weak I can hardly keep, shaky legs holding up my feet
But your body language is telling me that I'm not to blame

Practice makes perfect
Practice makes perfect sense

I've become what a mother wouldn't want in a son
And I have done a few things I regret
But practice makes perfect
Practice makes perfect sense to me

Wake up, first light hearing you calling out
For your criminal clothing that fled the scene upon being ripped free
Conversation ensued
And I wanna do so many things to you
Sip after sip, you insist you're a hit.
Sip after sip, yeah I swear I can feel it.

Practice makes perfect
Practice makes perfect sense

I've become what a mother wouldn't want in a son
And I have done a few things I regret
I've become what a mother wouldn't want in a son
And I have done what a mother wouldn't want, what a mother wouldn't want in a son

Practice makes perfect
Practice makes perfect sense
Practice makes perfect
Practice makes perfect sense

I've become what a mother wouldn't want in a son
And I have done a few things I regret
I've become what a mother wouldn't want in a son
And I have done what a mother wouldn't want, what a mother wouldn't want in a...
Practice makes perfect
Practice makes perfect sense
Practice makes perfect
Practice makes perfect sense to me.."

yeah, lirik lagu. lagi. jujur, saya agak ketinggalan karena baru ngedownload lagu ini (Practice Makes Perfect by Cute Is What We Aim For), soalnya saya juga baru cek draft message HP saya. (FYI, saya biasa nyatet judul lagu yang baru saya denger di radio ato di TV untuk kemudian saya tindak lanjuti [baca: download]) kebetulan waktu itu saya lagi nganggur berat, jadi saya memutuskan untuk ngeburn CD berisi lagu-lagu yang pernah saya niatin untuk didownload.
lanjut, kenapa saya bahas lagu ini? kenapa bukan lagu yang laen, semacam lagu dari The Pretty Reckless, band nya Taylor Momsen (si Little J di Gossip Girl)? oke, saya bahas lagu ini karena saya sedikit terkesiap sewaktu denger kalimat pertama dari lirik lagu ini. dalam hati saya, "omigod! jadi itu teks lagu??"
yeah, seseorang pernah berkata "so sweet i can hardly speak due to such trauma in my teeth" pada saya di SMS, dan ternyata itu adalah lirik lagu. kecewa? nggak juga.. bukankah ia sudah biasa seperti itu?
beberapa waktu yang lalu waktu masih jaman nya eFeS (Friendster, -red), dia juga pernah nulis shout out (yang nggak ngerti ditujukan buat siapa, ato mungkin cuma sekedar nulis aja?) "She's a backseat driver, a drama provider, an instant update of the world. She's a firstclass liar, a constant forgetter, she's attractive but bitter! Did you scream enough to make her cry? Did you turn around, turn around baby, dont return to me.." yang ternyata adalah lirik lagu She's a Lady nya Forever The Sickest Kids.
lanjut lagi. sewaktu saya ulang tahun, dia memberi saya sebuah kado (yang baru diberikan 5 bulan kemudian) yang disertakan dengan selembar kertas bertuliskan kata-kata ... yang ternyata lirik lagu Hopeless Love nya Daphne Loves Derby. kemudian, sewaktu kami bertengkar dalam suatu hubungan, dia nulis 2 buah notes di Facebook nya yang keduanya adalah lirik lagu. pertama lagunya Our Last Night yang Message Without a Meaning, yang kedua lagu Me Vs. The World nya Madina Lake yang sangat saya hafal mati. kecewa? nggak juga.. hanya ... *chuckles*
oke, tolong dicatat bahwa saya tidak sedang mengkritik, menyindir atau berniat menyakiti siapapun dalam blog ini. hanya membahas...

New Converse

i found these shoes at some shop in Bandung. i was really carving to buy them, because i havent seen anyone wearing this type of converse and it was cute. i was getting bored with my two-tones canvas; they were old and dirty; and stinky, maybe? because they had only been washed once.
but well, i couldnt get those shoes. why? yes, you name it: they didn't have the size. ohh geez! and then i asked a size for the purple-laced one, and they still didn't have the right size. for the pink-laced, they only had size 5 left and when i fit in it, my feet was like got stuck. for the purple-laced, they only had size 7 left and it was too big for me. i usually use the size 5 1/2, anyway.
but then i found another canvas, which was looking good also (well, those colorful-laced shoes were still better, though). the laces were only white (thats okay) but the color was good. they only had the size 6, but when i slipped in it, it fit well! so i decided to buy them.. (the picture of the shoes i bought cannot be included because i dont know how to attach picture in the middle of the text. is it im the one who doesnt know or is it in fact we cannot put it in the middle of the text?)

Farewell

"As we go on,
We remember,
All the times we,
Had together,
And as our lives change,
come whatever,
We will still be
Friends Forever.."

i used to think how fun a graduation will be. i used to think how exciting a freshman year will be. i used to think how funny a picture can be. but now, i dont wanna think one of those thoughts.. i dont wanna think about the graduation day (yeah, i do want to graduate though!) but well, i really dont want those farewells. i hate farewells. and when i think about farewells, it gets me thinking about how far you guys will live for the next few years. how long we will not meet each other for the next few years. and how im gonna miss you all like i will never have anyone like you anymore.. really, how time does go so fast..
when i was in the 10 grade, i used to think "when will the graduation be? ohh how im sick of all these things! the assignments, the uniforms, ... all of these school stuffs!" yeah, i was sick of being a high school student. dreaming about a cool freshman year. thinking about putting away the school's uniform. and when i was in 11 grade, i used to think "hey, we only get 1 more left! yeah! well, a year seems to be much longer though.. gosh!" and when in the 12 grade (like now) i dont wanna think about whats laid ahead.. (for what i said the bad things, of course)
everything's changing from year to year. the surroundings, the thoughts, the personalities, the school, even the people themselves. and for the farewell party last night, i always told myself "it wont make me cry this time, i will not cry. i will only cry by the graduation day, i guess. i will not cry tonight." and voila! i didnt cry! but i got this kind-of shock inside of me. like what i always get when i cant cry.. and the shock thing gets more and more when we watched the fireworks together. it was awesome, i confess, and it was much more than fun, and we were yelling like crazy, laughing like no one couldnt stop us, hugging each other, and i got this shock. i was laughing while shocking and yelling while shocking. i always hate to feel it..
i was chatting online with one of my BFs when i got home. we talked about many things and when it came to confessing what we felt on the farewell party, we both confessed we were scared. and now i just realize a line of the Graduation(Friends Forever) song by the Vitamin C..

"And there was me and you and well we got real blue,
Stay at home talking on the telephone with me,
We'd get so excited and we'd get so scared,
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair.."

and it makes me wanna hear the song for the first time together with all of my friends before we have to go.. (shit, i got this shock-like thing again! and im scared again..)

"And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives,
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25.
I keep thinking times will never change,
Keep on thinking things will always be the same.
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back,
No more hanging out because we're on a different track.
And if you got something that you need to say,
You better say it right now because you don't have another day.

Because we're moving on and we cant slow down.
These memories are playing like a film without sound.
And I keep thinking of that night in June,
I didn't know much of love but it came too soon.
And there was me and you and well we got real blue,
Stay at home talking on the telephone with me,
We'd get so excited and we'd get so scared,
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair.

And this is how it feels.

As we go on,
We remember,
All the times we,
Had together,
And as our lives change,
come whatever,
We will still be
Friends Forever.

So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money,
When we look back now will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school,
Still be trying to break every single rule?
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye,
Keep on thinking it's our time to fly,

And this is how it feels.

As we go on,
We remember,
All the times we,
Had together,
And as our lives change,
come whatever,
We will still be
Friends Forever.

La,la,la,la...yeah, yeah...la, la, la, la
We will still be,
Friends Forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow? (somehow)
I guess I thought that this would never end,
And suddenly it's like we're women and men.
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round,
Or will these memories fade when I leave this town?
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye,
Keep on thinking it's our time to fly.


As we go on,
We remember,
All the times we,
Had together,
And as our lives change,
come whatever,
We will still be
Friends Forever.

As we go on,
We remember,
All the times we,
Had together,
And as our lives change,
come whatever,
We will still be
Friends Forever.

As we go on,
We remember,
All the times we,
Had together,
And as our lives change,
come whatever,
We will still be
Friends Forever.

As we go on,
We remember,
All the times we,
Had together,
And as our lives change,
come whatever,
We will still be
Friends Forever..."

Flattery

(*drums pounding*)

eng ing eng~

ini wujud surat ga penting itu..

kenapa bisa ga penting? begini ceritanya..

dua hari yang lalu gue mendengar anak pembantu gue yang bernama Rio (yeah Rio, i write down your name here! *standing ovation*) lari-lari sambil manggilin nama gue, lalu dia ngasih sepucuk surat ke gue. begitu gue baca amplopnya, gue bingung. "IBII?" apa yang mendorong IBII untuk mengirim surat ke gue? lebih-lebih gue ngerasa mereka ga ada alasan apapun untuk ngirim surat ke gue. gue ga pernah daftar kuliah kesana, ga pernah merasa cukup pintar buat daftar buat beasiswa disana, apalagi surat-suratan sama warga sana. ga mungkin kan ada secret admirer yang kurang kerjaan ngirim surat ke gue pake amplop IBII? (well, that is way too much)

jadi, didorong rasa penasaran yang kuat, rasa ingin tahu yang menggebu-gebu (apa juga bedanya?), gue buka amplop surat misterius ini. kata demi kata gue baca dengan saksama (ngarep kalo-kalo ada guru gue yang pernah khilaf daftarin gue buat dapetin beasiswa di IBII), kata demi kata gue cerna dengan sempurna dan ... voila! surat ini cuma sekedar surat promosi jurusan-jurusan yang ada di IBII.. yeah, you guys did a good job! that was enough to make me flattered ... for a second.

at least gue punya satu nilai moral untuk hal ini: gue mesti lebih banyak belajar tentang ways of advertizing. just so i wont be flattered for only a second anymore..

Konstantine

"I can't imagine all the people that you know

And the places that you go

When the lights are turned down low

And I don't understand

All the things you've seen

But I'm slipping in between

You and your big... dreams

it's always you in my big dreams

And you tell me

That it's over

Wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clover

And you're restless

And I'm naked

You've got to get out

You can't stand to see me shaking

no, could you let me go

I didn't think so

and you don't want to be here in the future

So you say

the present's just a pleasant

Interruption to the past

And you don't want to look much closer

'Cause you're afraid to find out all this hope

You had sent into the sky by now had... crashed

and it did because of me

And then you bring me home

Afraid to find out that you're alone, no

And I'm sleeping in your living room

But we don't have much room

To live

I had these dreams, in them I learned to play guitar

Maybe cross the country

Become a rockstar

And there was hope in me

That I could take you there

But damn it you're so young

But I don't think I care

and if I hurt you then i'm sorry

please don't think that this was easy

And then you bring me home

'Cause we both know what it's like to be alone, no

And I'm dreaming in your living room

But we don't have much room

To live

And Konstantine is walking down the stairs

Doesn't she look good

Standing in her underwear?

And I was thinking, what I was thinking

But we've been drinking

And it doesn't get me anywhere

My Konstantine came walking down the stairs

And all that I could do

Was touch her long blonde hair

And I've been thinking
It hurts me thinking

That these nights when we were drinking

No they never got us anywhere, no

This is because I can spell konfusion with a K

And I can like it

It's to dying in another's arms

and why i had to try it

It's to jimmy eat world

and those nights in my car

when the first star you see

may not be a star

I'm not your star

Isn't that what you said?

what you thought this song meant

And if this is what it takes

just to lie with my mistakes

and live with what I did to you

All the hell I put you through

I always catch the clock it's 11:11

And now you want to talk

it's not hard to dream

You'll always be my Konstantine

My Konstantine

They'll never hurt you like I do

No, They'll never hurt you like I do

No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No

This is to a girl who got into my head

with all the pretty things she did

Hey, You know, you keep me up in bed

This is to a girl who got into my head

with all these fucked up things I did

Hey maybe baby, you could keep me up in bed

My Konstantine

Spin around me like a dream

We played out on this movie screen

And I said,

Did you know I miss you

Did you know I miss you

Did you know I miss you

Did you know I miss you

Did you know I miss you

Did you know I miss you

Did you know I miss you

I miss you

And then you bring me home

And we'll go to sleep but this time not alone, no

No,And then you'll kiss me in your living room, oh

I know you miss me in your living room

Cause these nights I think maybe that I miss you in my living room

We don't have much room

I said, does anybody need that room?

Because we all need a little more room

To live

...My Konstantine."

its one of my favorite song ever. its Konstantine by Something Corporate. the first thing made me fall in love with this song is the piano playing which is really beautiful. and it was played by the vocalist himself. and the second one is that this song is the longest song ive ever heard so far. its 9:35 minutes length. even Jesus of Suburbia by Green Day is only 9:10 length, if im not mistaken. a friend of mine who gave me a listen to this song told me about the background story of it, which made me fall for the song more. i even googled it! okay, let me share..

the band's frontman, named Andrew McMahon, had a girlfriend named Krystal whom he cheated on. the relationship was when the girl was still in high school and he hadnt signed to any labels yet. but one day she got him f**king some other girl while he was drunk (check out the part "you've gotta get out, you cant stand to see me shaking") and then they broke up. he wished he was lucky enough that they could get back together anymore ("wake up lying in patch of four leaf clover"). he got signed to Drive-Thru records and wished that he could take her on the tour ("become a rockstar. and there was hope in me that i could take you there"), but he couldnt because she was still in high school ("but dammit, you're so young").
well, some people said that they got back together once, but for another breaking-up. and then Andrew was diagnosed of cancer, almost at the same time as the girl got married with another guy. that was why it put him in a great guilt that he wrote the song, because he thought if he never cheated on her then he might be the one who would be standing under the bell with her. it made him always regretting ("they'll never hurt you like i do").
the good thing about him is that he never tried to go any further in their relationship because he thought she was too young and he really loved her that he didnt want anything more (based on the part "doesnt she look good standing in her underwear? ... and all that i could do was touch her long blonde hair")
this song is like playing on words, actually. like Konfusion with a K, Konstant with a K (but it might be more bacause the girl named Krystal with K, its usually written with C anyway), that some people think constant is a thing he wishes their relationship was, because they broke up quite a few times.
and for the title Konstantine, some assumed that maybe its because of the girl who was a religious one (hence he never tried to go further with her), because Constantine is the name of a Roman king who was very religious.
about the 11:11 clock, its to show that he really hoped he could get back together with her because there's a belief that on 11:11 is when the angels come showing up to listen to your wishes and then make them come true.
well, people assumed this and that about the song, so i dont really know the real story behind it. but i think the infos ive got are more than enough to explain..

What a Wonderful World

the exam's finally over. it makes me feel like whoa! days get brighter now..

("What a Wonderful World" song playing)

a burden has finally been taken away from me. now all i can do is just waiting for the results. and i hate waiting. especially when its all about a long-time waiting. and it gets worse when its all about your future. yeah, the results of the exam will be my future. sounds too drama, but thats the truth.

okay, forget about the waiting. lets have some fun now! (starts humbling)

"I see trees of green, red roses too

I see them bloom for me and you

And I think to myself what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white

The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night

And I think to myself what a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky

Are also on the faces of people going by

I see friends shaking hands, saying how do you do

They're really sayin' I love you

I hear babies cry, I watch them grow

They'll learn much more than I'll ever know

And I think to myself what a wonderful world

Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world..."

Grammar-and-Spelling Freak

English Professor Material

You could correct College-Level paper! Your spelling and Grammar are Perfect!

yeah, i took an "are you grammar and spelling freak?" quiz on facebook and the result is what has been mentioned above. di samping pertanyaan-pertanyaan di kuis itu yang memang ga susah, gue rasa hasil kuis itu memang bener. cause i do think i am a grammar-and-spelling freak. gue merasa risih kalo baca tulisan yang ejaannya salah, apalagi kalo dalam bahasa inggris. memang gue bukan ahli tata bahasa inggris, but it really annoys me. or is it to show that i'm a perfectionist? karena kalimat-kalimat bahasa inggris yang ditulis ga jelas grammar nya pun bikin gue berpikir "what does it mean?" yah sebagian besar gue masih ngerti sih maksud si penulis apa, i'm Indonesian anyway.

kalo kita mau nulis status di facebook, setelah nama pemilik profil, kata "is" pasti udh tercantum dengan manisnya. seperti status beberapa "temen" facebook gue: "Xxxx is wanna say blahblahblah" dan gue pun berpikir "Si Xxxx diinginkan untuk mengatakan blahblahblah?" sebagian besar orang Indonesia memang semestinya paham maksudnya, tapi buat orang bule? cuma sebagian kecil yang ngerti gue rasa. hal begini mungkin kedengerannya sepele, tapi bayangin kalo hal-hal sepele ini terjadi pada skripsi atau CV? apa tetep bakal jadi sesuatu yang sepele? karena hal ini bisa jadi menunjukkan kepribadian si penulis skripsi atau CV atau apalah-itu yang ga teliti. apa ada perusahaan yang mau merekrut orang yang ga teliti? oke, gue mulai sok tua sekarang..

gue akuin semua tulisan gue yang berbahasa inggris memang belum 100% bener dalam ejaan dan grammar nya, but at least i'm trying to. kalopun gue ragu sama grammar atau ejaan yang gue tulis itu, gue ambil alternatif lain: kata-kata itu ga usah dipake. yeah, i confess i hate to be blamed, walopun itu cuma mengenai hal-hal kecil, seperti ejaan misalnya. because it makes me feel like a dumb, and i dont wanna be one. tapi, gue juga punya beberapa kata yang gue masih rancu tentang countable atau uncountable nya. misal: holiday. is it "holiday is a good day" or "holiday is good days"? atau pemakaian day atau days nya itu diliat dari berapa hari liburan itu berlangsung? kalo cuma sehari maka pake day, tapi kalo lebih baru pake days? well then, it shows that i am not an english expert. yet.

It's All About Life (and Us)

so, here it is...

kartu ini bikin gue merasa sedikit lebih dewasa beberapa hari terakhir ini. anyway, what card is this? yes, you name it! ini kartu tanda peserta UN gue. with my name on it, my not-so-cool photo, on it, my birthday, even my headmaster's name on it! yeah, this card is all i need on april 20-24. okay, forget about the use.

jadi, apa yang bikin perasaan makin-dewasa dalam diri gue mencuat? okay, this card makes me think.. think a lot. dengan gue mendapat kartu ini di tangan, itu berarti masa SMA gue akan berakhir sebentar lagi, dalam 2 bulan ke depan mungkin? dan pisah dengan temen-temen yang selama ini gue temuin setiap harinya itu ga mudah. oke, gue bukan tipe cengeng, but well, when i think about it, something in my heart kinda get shocked. yeah, gue ga lebay, but that's just the truth. and it makes me think "gila ya, 3 taon bener-bener ga kerasa kali ini.." and how i wish i could turn back the time.. okay, i'm being overdramatic now..

perasaan "nyesek" yang gue rasain itupun makin kerasa "nyesek" ketika gue harus menghadapi kenyataan bahwa semua temen-temen gue bakal kuliah di tempat berbeda, bahkan negara yang berbeda. yeah, sebagian memang masih kuliah di kota-kota yang ga jauh dari Lampung sih. but still, it gets me thinking "seberapa deketnya kita satu sama lain juga ga mungkin kan kita tetep bisa kumpul tiap weekend kaya sekarang? with all the college stuffs, and maybe your boyfriends. life will be more about selfishness." ga munafik, memang begitu kan? that's university life..

but for whatever it will be, for how far we'll be separated, for how long we will not meet, i know y'all the best buddies ever! (:

Brand New Start

so, i have made this new account here. why? well, the old one's kinda full of errors and i dont really like it. and -okay, i confess- i've got a new name for this. yeah, the more sounds-cool one.
yeah, i'll write about anything as many as i could.. (: