So, Life, What Happened?

 

(Picture courtesy of Google)

When people said something about 'quarter-life crisis', they are no shit. I am 25--the age of the said quarter-life crisis--and I am in a crisis. I used to think that it's just an excuse for people whose life is miserable cause they haven't figured anything out in their life yet. Tell you what--it's not an excuse. It's there and it's real. Boom. Now go cry in the corner of your room.

 

Here I am, in a city I never knew I'd be assigned in, 423 miles away from home. No relatives, no close friends whatsoever. For people who know what I do, they would think I got everything figured out: A job with a good pay and a steady and emotionally stable relationship. Pretty much 'everything right' a twenty-something could ask for. Yes, I can afford a plane tickets home even for once a week if I want to. Yes, I can afford the latest iPhone if I want to. But is it enough? Is it what I'm looking for? And once again, I'm embarking on a soul-searching journey..

 

When half of your close friends are married or about to get married in the next 12 months, you'll start questioning when will you be able to get everything in order and arranged like they do. It's not that I'm starting to feel peer pressure of getting hitched--I know it's a sacred stage you do once in a lifetime that you can't take back so you gotta be easy and not rush into that--it's more of when will I find out of what truly makes me happy. For them, probably marriage is what makes them happy and content, cause they believe everything will follow after. For some, marriage can wait, cause their first priority is to build a career ladder high enough for everybody to see. As for me, I don't know what truly makes me happy. Of course, someday I'll get married, have kids, settle down just like a perfect domestic life you see in the movies. But on the other hand, I feel like I haven't achieved what I'm really looking for at work. I don't like what I do. Or more like I no longer like what I do, meanwhile I need to feel content in what I do. How am I supposed to like something that no longer fills me in?

 

"You're too much of overthinker, you need to loosen up a little."

 

I do loosen up a little. Yes, I get refreshed then that's it. I still feel insecure at times. Not of who I am as an individual, but more of what I should do.

 

I always admire people who can just forget everything to do what they love to do. Or just focus on their dreams and make it happen--simply by doing what they really love to do. My boyfriend is one of those people. Of course the struggle is much more real than those whose career path is basically already paved by the company--like me. But the struggle of doing what you love is where the happiness lays, isn't it?

 

Well, I just wish I could just do anything I love, focus on it, and not have a worry or doubt in the world..

7-Step Skincare Routine

Few months ago, I've decided to pay extra attention to my skincare routine.

So, what happened?

On mid last year, I decided to ditch my usual dermatologist's skincare and opted for the generic ones. That was not an easy decision though as I had been the worshipper of my dermatologist since 2009. But then I read an article about how you should change your skincare regimen every now and then to adjust with your skin condition. And yes, I realized that my dermatologist's skincare routine no longer gave me the glow and the magic it once did to me in 2011-2012.

So I was thinking, "Maybe it's time."

It was not a walk-in-the-park journey too to find a product that really suits my skin condition. Or to be able to give the magic I hoped. Or just to simply maintain my problem-free skin. (Thankfully, I very rarely catch pimples unless it's that time of the month.)

All my life, my skin was always oily. Never had I ever catch a dry skin, let alone have dry patches. The blotting paper had always been my daily rescue—I never even had a day without one in bag! But in September—2 months after I ditched my old skincare—my skin started to dry out. Dry patches were everywhere, redness on some spots, itchings everytime I was exposed to sunlight no matter for how long, even when I felt hot (not necessarily exposed to sunlight), my skin started to itch. It got so bad that I once badly scratched my skin.

Month after month, I was always on the soul-searching journey of skincare. Some only worked for a few weeks or months, and some just failed miserably. Then finally, in March 2017, I found the right line of skincare. Finally..

So here's my current skincare routine. And the ones I've tried and worked for some time but then failed.

(Clockwise: Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser, Clinique Liquid Facial Soap, Vaseline Petroleum Jelly, Laneige Moisture Balancing Emulsion, Skin Aqua UV Moisture Gel, Lush Enchanted Eye Cream, L'Occitane Shea Butter Light Comforting Cream, Thayers Witch Hazel Toner, Bioderma Sensibio Micellar Water, L'Oréal Gentle Lip and Eye Makeup Remover)

 

On daily basis, here are the skin-pampering steps I do.

 

1. Remove mascara using L'Oréal Gentle Lip and Eye Makeup Remover as I only apply mascara as eye makeup on daily basis. This one has been my holy grail since I was in college. To me, this works better than Maybelline's.

 

 

 

2. As for my face, I cleanse it using Bioderma Sensibio Micellar Water. Been using this for 6 months now and still works perfectly fine for me as I never apply heavy makeup on daily basis. Only a few pats of The Body Shop Pressed Powder and I'm all set.

 

 

 

3. Straight to wash my face using Clinique Liquid Facial Soap Mild for Dry Combination Skin, or...

 

 

 

Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser. Both work well for my dry skin.

 

 

 

4. Before applying moisturizer to my skin, I apply Thayers Witch Hazel Toner which smells really good I think I'm obsessed. Also, it's alcohol and paraben-free so it's a savior to my skin as well.

 

 

 

5. While waiting the toner to set on my skin, I apply Vaseline Petroleum Jelly to my lips. Been doing this since I was 17 that I feel so sinful everytime I skip it. (Which very rarely happens.)

 

 

 

6. Then apply this jar of skin savior. My current favorite. My holy grail. L'Occitane Shea Butter Light Comforting Cream. Currently on my 3rd week of using this and my skin is just getting better and better. ~swoon~

 

 

 

7. The last step in my night skincare routine is to apply Lush Enchanted Eye Cream on the outer corner, upper eyelids and under my eyes. This is my very first eye cream since, not gonna lie, I am turning 26 this year so I think it's time to start paying attention to my eyes.

 

 

 

Meanwhile on my day skincare routine, I top it off with Skin Aqua UV Moisture Gel SPF 30 PA++ that has become my go-to sunscreen since last year.

 

 

That's it. My 7-step skincare routine. Not as elaborate and detailed as the 10-step Korean skincare one but as long as this is what works for me then I wouldn't change it anytime soon.

 

But, as I previously mentioned, some products worked only for a moment and some just failed miserably. And here are the lists.

 

1. Laneige Moisture Balancing Emulsion. You played with my heart. You only worked for a brief moment. I put my faith so much in you that I decided to purchase the full-sized one. Turns out I was wrong.. 

 

 

 

2. Muji Sensitive Skin All-In-One Essence. I bought this at a Family Mart when I was on vacation in Japan, in which I forgot to bring any of my skincare products beside facial wash. This worked fine back then in Japan as I didn't catch a dry skin despite the chilly weather. But then it all became just another hit-and-miss product once I used it back home.

 

 

 

3. Sukin Certified Organic Rosehip Oil. You are such a HUGE disappointment, or did I set my expectation way too high of you? You only worked well on my skin for 3 days. Three days. I expected much more than that but you did nothing more than being some grease on my face that makes me look dull. I'm still brokenhearted.

 

 

 

So, that was it. One thing to remember is that one product may work for me while not for the others and vice versa, but well, isn't it nice to share your thoughts with people? Because I'm a firm believer of any reviews, especially skincare, before I ever give it a go.

 

Hope this helps to anyone who ever reads this!

 

Sanity II

Where can I apply for job that is located nearby this kind of place

that everytime I feel bored I can just take a 5-mins walk to breathe in the fresh air, stare blankly at the distant view and become sane again?

 

(source: here)

Sanity

So, 2016 has been a wreck to many.

Well, it has been the same too to me cause I kinda lost the encouragement and interest in writing. Which is a mini doom to me. Screw you, 2016. You were a disaster and a disappointment.

Anyway, these tunes are what's been keeping me sane for the past week. Quite a good way to start my 2017. #thanksSpotify

 

Cheers to another year of engagement and wedding ceremony of good friends and acquaintances that we don't know very well but might as well attend for the sake of nice gesture!

 

 

Things That Inevitably Happen When I Date My Best Friend

1. Introducing him to my friends was never an okay-will-they-like-him-or-not nervousness since, well, we've been sharing almost the same circle of friends the whole time. His friends are mostly mine, too, and vice versa.

2. No time wasted for digging up his pasts. Like, who his exes and crushes were, including their ups-and-downs and even the nasty breakups they'd been through. Cause he practically had shared every story with me when we were still just best friends. (Moments of 'Here she comes, the kleptomaniac beauty in disguise' or 'Nah, she was the one he dated only by accident' or 'Oops, there she goes, the drama queen who kissed like a frog' when having encounter with one of his exes did happen.)

3. I also didn't waste much time to explain my previous doomed relationships to him, which means no energy wasted to explain what personalities and values I look up to and I ditch in a man. Cause he just knows my stories.

4. Figuring out what he likes and dislikes of almost everything was never a deep-dive analytic research I should spend much time on. No time wasted to figure out what music he listens to ('No, he doesn't listen to Maroon 5. He hates Adam Levine as if he once stole his girlfriend'), which fashion style he's into ('He thinks ripped shorts are too teenager-ish to be worn by women in mid 20's'), or what movie genre he's up for ('He enjoys drama more than I do. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯'). Years of befriending him has revealed it all.

5. Jealousy very rarely interferes. I know where he goes, whom he goes out with, what he will do (basically just beers over football, liquors only show up for certain celebrations), and even how he will react if someone hits on him (mostly gays ¯\_(ツ)_/¯). There's nothing suspicious and I just happen to trust him.

6. Since trust has already taken place, high intensity of texting and phonecalls are not mandatory on daily basis. The urge to always have to know what he's up to in each minute of his life has never appeared since we just let each other roll. Texting mostly only happens during lunch and before bed time, and phone calls are not so much (mostly only 2-3 times on weekly basis, several minutes at the max, unless something very interesting to talk about comes up). Cause we both know we are busy and are always up for something else to do during day time and we just gotta let it that way. Or in other words, cause both of us are just so ~cool~ about it.

7. Anxiety before meeting his family was not really there since, at some point in my life, I have met them once or twice before. Which means no time wasted to adjust to new faces, habits and communication style.

8. Of course there were and will be times when we're both trapped in an argument or when things get way out of hands that all I can think of is how easier days were when we were still just best friends. No drama, no argument. But then again, thanks to years of befriending him that has taught me well on how to cope with each other's ego and stubbornness, any argument are settled almost in an instant.

9. Reference of both me and him as an item by our friends finally pop up. It was kinda weird at first, but I enjoy it over time. (Expect sayings like 'It's $25 including tax for both of you' or 'Hey, this. He left his phone charger at my place' or 'Hey, tell him I can't show up tonight. Also tell him I say congrats, though')

10. I don't try hard to impress him by always being 100% perfect. He knows exactly since the beginning about what I'm good at and what I'm not, he criticizes me for what I can do more and calm me down when I realize I set my expectation too high, he knows I have a sensitive skin that cannot be covered with makeup all day ('Haha, you have blackheads!'), he knows I have cellulite in some body parts ('If we can make $1,000 for every cellulite line you have, we'll be filthy rich, baby!'). He knows my sparkles and flaws since Day 1, and he chooses to stick around anyway.

11. Speaking of try-hards, our relationship basically reflects simplicity. No need for fancy dinner every weekend, no need for far getaway every month, or a bouquet of roses every monthversary. We just appreciate the little things more. Simple homemade breakfast on weekend? Sounds great. Grocery shopping on Saturday night? I'm in. And then when we finally celebrate the real occasions (e.g. birthdays, anniversaries), it feels more pleasant, delightful, and sincere.

12. But no matter what, since Day 1, he is the one who knows what my pillow face looks like and what my habit before bed is (since at one point during our time in university we got to be living under the same roof together with other 14 students for 4 weeks for our university's program), what turns me off the most and what lame jokes I'm into. Or in other words, making each other laugh and keeping one away from disappointment is a low-hanging fruit for both of us. And we like it that way.

Re-evaluating the Term 'Nerd'

 "A: When is Doraemon's birthday again?

B: May 19.

A: I see.

B: Wait, it's Miiko's. Doraemon's is September 3.

C: [cynical laugh] Neeerd."

This conversation happened months ago between me and two friends. It was coming out as a joke, nobody was offended, but it got me thinking: What does 'nerd' really mean? Is it an unshaped, overweight or skinny person with braces and zits all over his/her face who excels at Math, Physics or any other science subjects? Or is it a socially awkward person who reads HTML code like the back of his/her hand? Or is it just that they're not in your self-claimed cool clique that you classify them as uncool and therefore identified as geek/nerd? Or is it that they just happen to read much more than you do that it turns them into a walking encyclopedia that somehow intimidating you with their broad knowledge of, well, almost everything?

I have to admit that I was once a much more judgmental person. You're into online video game? Nerd. You're into anime and cosplay? Geek. You're into analysis and research? Get a life. But now that I am working in a management consulting firm where finding a Stanford / Harvard / Oxford / Cambridge graduate is just as easy as finding a fashion blogger in curated fashion exhibition, my once-defined line between geek/nerd and jaw-droppingly smart people is now blurred. One is not necessarily classified as a geek/nerd for excelling at something not many people (or you) do. This firm makes me value identities more through the positive impact you have in others. It also shapes me into a much more open-minded and less judgmental individual than I was. Does having a PhD in chemical engineering make one a socially awkward person who spends days in front of laptop gulping soda on daily basis? Not really. (Unless their deck is due) Does being a magna cum laude Cambridge graduate classify one as an introvert individual who's hardly in touch with society? Don't think so. (Unless you have a client's BOD meeting in a week and your deck is due) A 3.8 GPA does not necessarily mean he/she is an uncool individual who hardly goes and are invited to parties since they don't party like you do. Surprise surprise, they also do...sometimes even harder.

It probably sounds like a dream team: A deadly combination between people who work hard and play harder. Well, in fact, it definitely is. They're the kind of people you would love to talk about anything to. From politics to economy, from fashion to music. They're those open-minded people who hardly judge people since they value intelligence more than what music you listen to. People who are annoyed if you don't get things done more than if you talk like the Kardashian sisters. (Well, they're still annoying to me though) And if you don't think you're intelligent enough to jump into their clique, they would be more than happy to 'scale' yourself up since sharing and feedback is a culture they firmly hold on to. Yes, it also means that one day you'll be 'upgraded' with more knowledge from the sharing session, and another day you'll be crashing down for being criticized blatantly for your lack of performance. *shrugs* 

Bottom line is, when someone is not into the cool stuffs you're into, or always knows something about everything, or just simply not in the same clique of your social butterfly clique, or whose occupation is not as cool as you think (y'know, cool jobs like fashion blogger, photographer, or simply a 'socialite' [if that's even a job]), it does not mean you're superior than them. They might know much more than you do, they just happen to talk about it only with people they're comfortable with or share the same or even broader knowledge with. Because they value deep conversation more than small talk. (It doesn't mean they don't do small talk though. I was once in a team who talked about Olivia Pope's style for almost one hour straight. #girltalk )

When intelligence, Chanel handbag, Patek Philippe watch, and Benz car can go together, why should be coolness only defined by two or three out of the four?

What's Up, Self?

"But sometimes I get a panic attack when I hear about a college mate's career 

that's sky-rocketed. Like, 'Shit, what have I been doing all my life?'"

"[laughs] Right, but whatever. Put it in your fuck it basket. We always have our own way. 

It only depends on God on how He wants it to be."

"I know everybody has their own way and I have mine as well."

"But, really."

"My fuck it basket it full, I need to find a new one."

"What things did you put in there?"

"But you're correct, though. My boyfriend also said that, in career, 

I'm always kinda stuck on one perspective."

"Man, why are you so negative?"

---

That's that. Right in the heart.

I need to get out and meet people more.

I need to rejuvenate myself.